


Rediscovering

by OMGitsgreen



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Arachnophobia, Birthday Present, Character Study, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kija-centric, Originally Posted on Tumblr, cuties being cute, discussion of phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5715262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMGitsgreen/pseuds/OMGitsgreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Kija blinked, suddenly surprised. He hadn’t remembered when the sun had dipped low into the ring of the horizon, and when the sky had begun to gleam red like Yona’s wind tousled curls (like pinpricks of blood angry red marks stiff fingers a single spider could), or when the jewels of the evening and north star had begun to twinkle." A reflection on Kija's past and how one moves past it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rediscovering

**Author's Note:**

> Happy belated birthday buri-art, very belated because my school started up again this week so I just couldn’t get any time to write this before. But I really hope you enjoy this Kija fic that I wrote for you (since Kija always needs more love and the Hakuryuu village is your thing).

The village from his room was beautiful, spiraling, and pale. Robes glinted with the eye-watering shades of sunlight. Pale strands stood silver against the forest, disappearing in the morning dim. Fog rolled in, lit like glowing hazy clouds with morning sunlight that almost melded into a sky too bright blue to look at. The grass had been as soft as any blanket, and Kija had giggled as it had tickled his fingertips teasingly.

A prick of red welled up from deep within skin and stood stark against the pale.

As he sat there frozen as one of his attendants screamed and screamed, his black practice ink spilled and dyed his parchment dark.

Kija moved without thinking, his dragon hand cracking and talons sharp as he gouged the spider and nearly skewered it as he just about punched through the ground. The threat was eliminated, however as he rushed over to his attendant, other villagers who had been milling about the area had already jumped into action it seemed far too late. Kija watched in horror at the pinprick marks flushed angry red. The attendant lay on the ground with all of the grace of a discarded ragdoll, gasping and sobbing as her fingers went stiff and swollen and sweat rolled off of her face in waves.

“The healer, the healer! Quickly get her to a healer! Or else she’ll lose that hand!” His grandmother screamed as in a rush of motion she was there beside him and Kija no longer how long her had been standing there frozen, “check Lord Hakuryuu, make sure he was unharmed! Hurry my Lord!”

“Will she die?” Kija croaked, his arm wobbly as he grasped his grandmother’s robes. The image of that creature, that creature skittering over wood and dirt to bite and poison making him sick to the deepest pit of his stomach. “Please…please don’t let her die! It’s my fault I…I should have protected her!”

“It’s not your fault, Lord Hakuryuu, it’s not. But consider yourself lucky, that could have been you for certain! In any case you must be checked. Come now.” 

_It’s wrong,_ Kija thought dizzily as he was led by the hand forcibly, his legs woodenly jerking forward. _It should be me. I’m supposed to be protecting you, not you protecting me. It should have been me, it should have been me—! Why am I not strong enough? A single spider, a single spider—!_

From that day on, Kija had all of his classwork inside his room. When his attendant prostrated herself before Kija with apologies, hiding her hand now lacking three fingers to spare Kija from the sight, Kija tried not to throw up.

* * *

Kija forgot he could bleed, and the rediscovering was glorious.

He had forgotten how the lungs burned when deprived of breath and how hot sweat tasted as it burned his lips. Kija had forgotten how muscles stretched and pulled against bone and ached after strenuous training or battle. Kija had forgotten how sleep could feel so deep and refreshing, and he wished only to drink more and more from that wellspring. Kija had forgotten he could bleed and mend despite how agonizing.

But he didn’t forget how easily it could all be unmade. The lessons of the Hakuryuu Village were still burrowed into his bones like maggots, always circling through his thoughts like gadflies. One misstep could fracture bone, one badly cooked meal could poison, a single spider could

A single spider, Kija tried to remind himself as he stared at it. Its body was a common brown, it’s legs long and wispy as it traversed its pillow of dense wet moss. It was not the poisonous ones of the mountain. It was just a common fly eater, a good spider as Yun had often told him. Despite feeling his stomach twist with sickness and sweat break out over his skin, Kija would not bend. Kija would not let this creature beat him. If he couldn’t beat a single spider, then how could he ever do this?

“Kija? What are you doing?” Yona’s voice came soft of gentle, before sitting down besides Kija and looking to see what held his single-minded attention. “Ugh, gross, I’m sorry Kija. Do you want me to…?”

“No!” Kija said rather forcefully, before shaking his head (but never once taking his eyes off the creature that with its long legs seemingly tested the moss before it). “I’m sorry princess, I’m sorry, just…just give me a moment.”

“You don’t have to push yourself so much,” Yona pointed out. “You’ve been sitting over here for a while.”

Kija blinked, suddenly surprised. He hadn’t remembered when the sun had dipped low into the ring of the horizon, and when the sky had begun to gleam red like Yona’s wind tousled curls (like pinpricks of blood angry red marks stiff fingers a single spider could), or when the jewels of the evening and north star had begun to twinkle. The forest was alive with the sounds of twilight, cooing birds and rustling branches and the crackling of the fire as the scent of dinner was carried in smoke wisps to the little divot Kija occupied. He really had to have been sitting there for a long, long time.

“I…” Kija said, trying to swallow back the dryness of his throat, threatening to cause him to gag. “I do though! I do, princess. I have to try. Even…even if I can’t get there, I have to try.” 

Suddenly arms around his waist made Kija freeze, heat flooding his cheeks and ears and his mind nearly snapping back with the force of being taken from his single minded attention to now this (how utterly lovely it felt to have her cheek pressed to his shoulder blade, her fingers curling in the front of his chest and how bad, bad bad those thoughts were!)

“P-Princess!” Kija gasped, half torn between finding the spider once more on the ground and the sensation of her pressed against him.

“My father used to do this when I was really scared to help ease my mind!” Yona explained, shifting to kneel. “Is it helping?”

“It…it…” Kija said, watching the probably perturbed spider crawl away into the bush. “It ran away?”

“Oh, I’m sorry Kija,” Yona said pulling away, her cheeks reddened and her smile bright. “I think I did the opposite of helping you. But at least you aren’t so pale!”

“Forgive me, Princess, you startled me,” Kija explained as he pressed his hand against his very hot face confirming certainly what Yona stated. He couldn’t help but sigh in disappointment. “I suppose today is not the day.”

Yona’s gaze once more met his, violet dark and deep and sweet gentling as she reached up to give his head a fond pat.

“You know, no one gets over fears in a day,” Yona said firmly. “I still have a lot to work on too! I still have a lot I’m afraid of.”

“I am meant to protect you though, princess,” Kija said firmly, and Yona just smiled.

“Then let’s get stronger together, Kija, that way we can beat up any spiders that cross our paths. But let’s do it a little at a time, so we don’t get too overwhelmed,” Yona told him determinedly, and Kija couldn’t help but feel himself smile in return. Yes, perhaps going at it a little bit at a time would be easier, Kija couldn’t help but find himself agree. It always took a while to undo something at the root, and if he could stay steadfast then maybe, maybe he would be able to get stronger this way. At least that way, he would not have to worry Yun with any more fevers.

“As you wish,” Kija agreed, before hearing Yun’s call from over the bushes to gather them for dinner.

And that night, his dreams were of nothing other than fog-cloaked mountain caps and dew upon grass tips.


End file.
